EP8 Conversation: Sobriety with Kelley Denby

I’m really excited to share my next conversation with you. I met Kelley through Instagram several years ago. I had a photography business and found her photography account (back when she was takin’ pics, too) and loved what she was doing. Fast forward several months and we were both working for the same organization. She stood up in our big departmental meeting and introduced herself and like the crazy extrovert that I am, I B-lined to her so I could introduce myself. I love meeting new people and she seemed uber cool. Turns out, she IS uber cool and as life would have it, we’re kindred spirit, too. We’ve been friends ever since.

Kelley Denby is a wife, a mom, daughter, sister, friend… y’all, she’s just like us. She and her husband, Kris, own Hemlock and Heather, a reclaimed wooden wall art business together. They live in Austin, Texas and I’m just so thankful for the opportunity to talk with her on this podcast. The foundation of  Things I Learned Yesterday is friendship and support and the conversations I have are meaningful and inspiring, and hopefully help us understand ourselves better. We talked about Kelley’s choice to give up alcohol, which happened to be at the beginning of the pandemic and also turned out to be the biggest blessing, and we talked about how sobriety has impacted her life. I’ve been so impressed by the courage, tenacity and grace in Kelley’s life. She’s honest, raw, humble and truly one of kind. Sobriety isn’t something we like to talk about, but I think a lot people struggle with it and something I think we should talk more about. I think this conversation will encourage, inspire and bring you hope.

Getting sober during quarantine:

“When I tell people my sobriety date, they inevitably come to the conclusion that I quit drinking right before COVID-19 hit and before we all went into quarantine. Their response is always, “Wow, not drinking in quarantine must have been SO hard!”, but honestly, it was the best gift ever. As an extrovert, I knew the hardest part for me was going to be social events and trying to navigate not drinking. Quarantine saved me from having to explain why I wasn’t drinking at events or happy hours, or even children’s birthday parties. Quarantine forced me to focus on each day of choosing not to drink, but yes, there were some really hard, raw moments where I REALLY wanted to drink because I was bored, or anxious, or angry, and I didn’t have my coping mechanism any longer. I felt really exposed, really sad, and really, really lonely in my struggle.”

She shared a couple quotes by Lauren McKowen and wanted to also share her online support group called, The Luckiest Club. It’s an amazing resource with other like-minded women. You can find Lauren on Instagram: @laura_mckowen and @theluckiestclub.

Regarding Matthew Kelly's book and how it helped her:

I had just finished the book, “Resisting Happiness” and in it, he talks of breaking through resistance in order to live out your God-given mission in life and to becoming the-best-version-of-yourself. I knew that if I ever wanted to see what that version of her was like, then drinking absolutely had to go. It was clear as day to me that if I kept resisting, then I would never get to meet her. She’s always been there, just waiting for me to choose wisely, just waiting on me to give her a chance. Thank God she didn’t give up on me.

And of course, we all love Brené Brown. Here’s the quote she mentioned:

“When I got sober, I thought giving up [alcohol] was saying goodbye to all the fun and all the sparkle, and it turned out to be just the opposite. That's when the sparkle started for me.” ... For the first time in my life, I realized that my sobriety isn't a limitation. Sobriety isn't even a “have to” – it's a superpower.”

If you’d like to connect with Kelley, you can find her on Instagram: @kelleydenby and @hemlockandheather.

Listen to the episode on Apple, Spotify, Google and wherever else you listen to podacsts.